Shake It, Wu-Man!
by Friezaess
Summary: Wufei's version of the song "Man! I Feel Like A Woman" Scared? You should be! ^_~


**SHAKE IT, WU-MAN!**

AN: This is what I call an inbetweener- I've got two other fics I have to work on, but it's 7:30 am and I've been up all night, so I need something short n' sweet! ^_^

Disclaimer: I own zip, nudda, zilch, sweet F.A. I'm not even all that partiled to Shania Twain- but the song seemed appropriate! ^_~

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Friezaess: Hey all! Welcome to yet another instalment of my insanity.

G-boys: *groan*

Friezaess: Aw, cheer up, fellas! I wouldn't do anything mean to ya!

Duo: Says the author who killed me off in Musings of Shinigami'.

Friezaess: Eh, heh heh! ^_^; Well Duo, you'll be glad to know that you remain intact in this one.

Quatre: What about the rest of us?

Friezaess: You'll all be fine. 

G-boys: *phew*

Friezaess: Except Wufei ^_^

Wufei: INJUSTICE!!

Friezaess: Yeah, yeah. Now c'mon, lighten up! You get to sing and dance and everything!

Wufei: Baka onna! What do you have up your sleeve?

Friezaess: What's your opinion of short skirts, men's shirts and woah-oh-oh?

Wufei: No! You wouldn't!

Friezaess: I am! *hits play on the tape recorder* Ladies and Gentlemen, using my handy-dandy authoress powers, I present to you Wufei's rendition of Shania Twain's Man! I Feel Like a Woman'!

Wufei: Ahhhhhhhh!!

_~*~_

DA DA DA DA DA, DA DA! DA DA DA DA DA, DA DA!

*Wufei appears onstage dressed in an itty-bitty skirt, LOOOOOW-cut blouse and top hat. The other four pilots are all playing instruments- Heero on drums, Duo on guitar, Quatre on trumpet and Trowa on keyboard*

Wufei: *singing*

I'm going out tonight-I'm feelin' all hyped

Gonna blow up some OZ M.S.

Wanna do some damage-really kick their asses

Yeah, I'll kill em all in this dress

*starts dancing*

No inhibitions-make no conditions

Now I'm wearin' a skirt

I ain't gonna act all chauvinistic and macho

I only wanna cause some hurt

The best thing about being a woman

Is you can distract the enemy with your double D's!

*leans over so you can see the extent of his fake boobies*

*Pilots crack up laughing*

Oh, oh, oh, I'm totally crazy! I'm really a lady!

Noin's shirts, Po's skirts

Oh, oh, oh, really go femme, yeah, I'll do it again!

Oh, oh, oh, I'm an attraction, Shenlong's in action

Kickin' OZ butt, in a low-cut

Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free, yeah, to wear 6-inch stilettos

Man! I feel like an onna!

Duo on guitar: DA DA DA DA DA!

Wufei: 

The boys need a fight, tonight we just might

Go out into space and arouse fear

I don't need trousers- I only wear tights

And make-up endorsed by Britney Spears

Quatre: *glances at Wufei's chest* Looks like make-up's not the only thing he's wearing that's endorsed by Britney! O_o

Wufei:

The best thing about being a woman

Is painting your Gundam lovely shades of pink, yeah!

Duo: *pictures Deathscythe in pink and shudders*

Wufei:

Oh, oh, oh! I really am crazy! Totally lady!

*other pilots cringe at the thought of the surgical procedure a man would have to go through to become TOTALLY lady* 

Tight shirts, frilly skirts

Oh, oh, oh, really go nutty, I got a great body

*muffled laughter from Friezaess and the pilots*

Oh, oh, oh, get in on the action, I really will smash em

Trieze will pay when he sees me this way

Heero: He's not the only one

Wufei:

Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free, yeah, to dress up Nataku

*flashes a poleroid of his Gundam in a giant tutu*

Man! I feel like an onna!

DA DA DA DA DA!

The best thing about being a woman

Is the way I look in a G-string and bra-less boob tube...

*Wufei's outfit suddenly changes into the one he just described, giving the other four pilots a not so nice view*

Others: Ahhhhhhhh!!

Friezaess: Kodak moment! *whips out her camera*

Oh, oh, oh, I'm just so damn crazy, bout being a lady

Pink shirts, mauve skirts

Quatre: And what's so wrong with THAT?!

*Sweatdrops all round, people*

Oh, oh, oh, really go girly, like Elizabeth Hurly

Oh, oh, oh, wearing Une's jewellery, it really is kewlies!

Dorothy's scared, Heero looks mad

Heero: *Deathglare ©*

Wufei:

Oh, oh, oh, I wanna be free-yeah, to wear this kinky thong

Man! I feel like an onna!

I get totally femme

Wanna see it again?

Pilots: NO!

Come on, Nataku!

I feel like an onna!

DA DA DA DA DA!

_~*~_

*tape stops*

Wufei: Ahhhh! Someone get me some clothes!!

Quatre: It's okay Wufei, I brought an extra change. *thus Quatre causes the second wave of sweatdrops that day*

Heero: Why did we have to be situated BEHIND him? Especially when he was shaking his arse around in that g-string

Wufei: INJUSTICE!!

Friezaess: Luck, I guess! ^_^

Trowa: At least you had your drum set to hide behind- do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on sheet music when every time you look up, there's a big, wobbly butt in your face?

Duo: Point. Still, I didn't mind the boobs! *everyone gives Duo an odd look* What? 

Heero: You just opened the floodgate for yaoi lovers out there.

Duo: Oh, come on!! They looked so REAL!

Friezaess: Maybe they ARE real!

Quatre: Wufei, is there something you're hiding from us?

Wufei: BAKAS!!! Especially you, onna!

Friezaess: Funny, you seemed like you were enjoying yourself just a few moments ago ^_^!

Wufei: And how did Nataku get in a tutu, anyway?! 

Friezaess: Well *grins and pulls out a giant sewing kit*

Wufei: Injustice! Weak onna! Where did I put my katana?!

Friezaess: And so, before I get chopped up into itty-bitty pieces, I bring a close to this fan-fic.

Wufei: *sword in hand* DIIIIIIIIIIE! *about to bring it down on Friezaess*

**THE END!**

(Wufei: Damn!)

Please review!


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